


The Ship Of Dreams

by benshearingaid



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Apparently Whitney's Father's name?, M/M, Nathan Dean, not me, who knew
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-29 03:15:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21403261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benshearingaid/pseuds/benshearingaid
Summary: A chance meeting, a surprise love but when it all comes crashing down, what is left to salvage?
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	1. Setting Sail

The sun shone down on the crowds of people who stood, some watching, some rushing, some happy, some envious.  
Sound filled the air as the people waited in anticipation for the big moment that they had waited for for months, years even.  
"There she is!" Nathan Dean announced as he stepped from the beautiful car he had won in a card game only two days previous.  
"Father, must you be so obvious?" Whitney Dean asked, rolling her eyes as she took the hand of her fiancé, Callum Highway, as he helped her from the vehicle.  
The 'She' that Nathan so blatantly pointed out was the huge ship called the Titanic. The ship they had paid an insane amount of money to travel upon on a voyage to America. The year is 1911.   
"Are we sure she'll even float?" Callum asked, watching as cars were lowered onto the top deck.  
"Of course! God himself could not sink this ship!" Nathan raised his cane to gesture towards the vessel in front of them.  
Whitney rolled her eyes and turned towards Callum who was adjusting his tie.  
"Darling, do you think I should've packed my cream hat? What if the blue one just doesn't go with that dress that you gave me for our anniversary?" Her bottom lip protruded.  
Callum sighed.  
"My love, I'm sure you have plenty of other options." He glanced at the dozens of luggage cases and bags that were being unloaded from their cars. He wondered how one woman needed so many clothes.  
"But, what if I look ridiculous?!" She asked, aghast at his lack of interest.  
"You could never." Callum placed a kiss upon her gloved hand which seemed to please her into a subdued silence.  
"Come on, you two. We must head towards boarding." Nathan announced, checking his pocket watch.

Ben Mitchell wasn't exactly poor. He had a job, he had a home, but his mother Katherine needed his money more than he did. So, Ben gave everything he could give to her, leaving something for himself just to get by. His Father, Phillip, wasn't the greatest man around town. Often involved in dodgy deals and getting on the wrong side of the law, Ben tried his best to stay clear of the man and not end up like him. His Mother was his rock.  
He smoked a cigarette and watched as the smoke plumed from the ship's four smokestacks, the engine getting geared up and ready to set sail on it's voyage to America.  
He sips his ale and glances down at the card deck in his left hand.  
The loot in the middle of the table made his hands sweat with hopefulness at a win.  
A French man muttered angrily to his partner at the table about the contents of the pot.  
"I cannot believe you are using our Titanic tickets to bet with." He spat.  
The other man ignored him, frowning down at his hand of cards.  
Ben looked up with a smirk.  
"Pierre?" He indicated to the man that it was his turn.  
Ben's best friend, Jay Brown, gulped down the worry in his throat and kept his eyes on his last remaining money sitting in the middle of the table, along with his late Father's pocket watch that wasn't worth much but the sentiment was enough value.  
Pierre licked his lips slowly and placed his cards face up on the table, sighing and looking at his partner, Jacques, with an apologetic shrug.  
Jacques head span as his heart quickened, looking at Ben with fear as he slowly placed his cards down on the table.  
"I'm sorry, Jay." He sighed.  
Jay groaned.  
"You're not serious?" He asked, trying his best not to cry.  
"I'm sorry... You're going to have to keep that old pocket watch for your child to have." Ben said, slamming his cards down on the table. "We're going to America!!" He announced as Pierre and Jacques strained their heads to look at the cards across the table.  
Jay jumped out of his seat and threw his arms around Ben.  
Ben grabbed the tickets and their loot, handing Jay back the watch.  
"We only have five minutes to get down to boarding!" He realised, his eyes wide and panicked.  
Ben threw the sack of winnings and belongings over his shoulder and began his run towards to grand vessel.  
"Come on!" He called out to Jay who lagged behind slightly.  
They ran through people and they ran through horses and they ran until their feet almost lit on fire with the speed that they were flying through the crowds.  
"Wait, wait!" Ben called out as the ramp between land and sea began to be retracted.  
A ship official looked the men up and down and frowned. Ben thrust the tickets into his hand, and watched as he inspected the paper, watching his eyes go back and forth across the page.  
"Welcome aboard, gentlemen." He said, smiling with a nod and moving aside to let the sweaty, out of breath men onto the ship.  
They ran along the corridor and Ben jumped for joy, grabbing Jay with both hands. "We're the luckiest sons of bitches in the world! Do you know that?!" He almost squealed.  
Jay laughed and nodded, kissing Ben on the head and holding both of his cheeks in his hands.  
The loud cheers and goodbyes from the crowds watching could even be heard over the loud horn as Ben and Jay made it to top deck to wave to the crowds as they set sail for America. "Who are we even waving to?" Jay shouted over the noise.  
"I have no idea!" Ben responded, laughing loudly but never dropping his hand once.  
The ship began to move and Ben and Jay looked at each other and though neither of them would ever admit it or speak of it again, both would swear they saw tears in each other's eyes.


	2. The Meeting

Chapter Two : The Meeting  
Ben looked at his ticket and kissed it happily, still not quite believing his luck.  
All of his worldly goods were laid out on the small table in the room he and Jay shared and Jay's pocket watch ticked away, the only sound audible in the lower decks of the ship, the poor people rooms.  
He glanced out of the small window to the ocean as the ship sailed the waters and Ben truly believed he had never seen the colour blue so vivid as where the ocean met the sky.  
Jay's soft snores were starting to irritate Ben so he decided to stand on the edge of his lower bunk bed to reach Jay on the top.  
"Jay. Dinnertime, come on." He urged.  
The red head grumbled and turned to face the wall, scrunching his body into the fetal position.  
Ben sighed and rolled his eyes, knowing he would be dining alone tonight.

Whitney smoothed out her dress and looked to Callum for his approval.  
He stayed silent.  
This was the third dress she had tried on this evening, despite the first one being perfectly fine on her.  
"Well?" She asked.  
Their help maid looked at Callum with a frown, hoping she wouldn't have to undo and lace Whitney's corset another time around.  
As Callum carefully thought of his reply, the door opened and Nathan cleared his throat.  
"Princess, are you ready?" He asked.  
"Yes, I'm ready..." Callum joked. Whitney hit him lightly on his arm but she was amused. It was this sort of wit that attracted her to Callum. That and his handsome looks. And how kind and genuine he was.  
Nathan rolled his eyes.  
"Come on, will you? It'll be breakfast we're eating at this rate!" He turned and left the room, his butler following him.  
"I think this dress will just have to do." Whitney announced with a sigh.  
Callum took the hint.  
"My darling, you look beautiful, you always do. You'd look fantastic in a paper bag." He soothed. Whitney lapped it up and ordered the help away, freeing her of her duties for the evening.

Callum sat at the first class table, surrounded by money and arrogance.  
Nathan was in a competition with another man over who had more money , Whitney was sipping her wine in silence as her mind fretted over tomorrow's activities. Callum's mind was empty.  
He began to think about his future with Whitney and how conversations about clothes and expensive jewellery would be the only things he'd talk about for the next however many years until one of them died and gave the other some peace and quiet.  
He thought of their future children and how they'd be the mixture of them both and that would either turn out wonderfully or it would turn out terribly.  
The room got louder and louder and the heat was almost too much to handle. He tried to loosen his bow tie but Whitney shot him a look that told him not to embarrass her like this.  
Callum remained silent but his mind was swimming. What was wrong with him? Why did he feel so suffocated? His breath was quicker than normal and his heart rate had increased. He felt like he was about to vomit.  
"Whit... I-" His words came out in breathless gasps and he pushed his seat away from the table.  
Nathan turned and looked as Whitney's mouth fell open.  
She was mortified.  
"Oh for goodness sake,boy, go and get some air!" Nathan instructed.  
As Callum nodded and rushed away, grabbing his napkin as he went, he overheard Nathan blaming sea sickness, saying he thought he'd looked a bit green all evening. The guests at the table laughed and normality resumed.

Callum ran towards the front of the ship and hadn't realised just how dark it had gotten whilst they ate. It must've been the candles and the chandeliers, lighting up the room.  
He pushed past people having an evening stroll and thought this was the exact moment he had realised he'd lost his mind.  
He ran until he reached the railings and grabbed out for them, almost tumbling over the edge when he couldn't stop himself at the pace he had ran.  
He gripped the cold, metal, covered in glossy white paint. He leant over and rested his forehead on it, trying to control his breathing.  
"I could think of easier ways to kill yourself, if that's what you're trying to do." A voice from behind him made Callum jump out of his thoughts.  
He turned and saw a man in front of him, kind of scruffy looking. Smaller than him, with brown hair and blue eyes and the slight hint of stubble on his chin.  
"Excuse me?" Callum asked, his breathlessness still apparent.  
The man blinked and looked him up and down.  
"Are you... okay?" He asked.  
Callum shook his head.  
"I can't.... breathe." He began to panic again.  
The man stepped forwards and held out his hands.  
Callum frowned at them, almost appalled. They were filthy.  
"You're having a panic attack. You need to take this off, maybe that will make it better." He said, reaching out to undo his bow tie.  
Callum lifted his chin, forgetting the muck on the man's hands, grateful for the help. He undid his top button as the man handed him back his bow tie.  
"Better?" The man asked, a slight dip in his brow.  
Callum managed to nod and sat himself down against the railings, resting his head back against them and looking up at the sky.  
"I've never seen so many stars." He whispered.  
"Ah, a city boy." The man chuckled, sitting beside him. "That figures."  
Callum frowned and looked at him.  
"Excuse me?" He repeated.  
The man smirked and looked down at his hands.  
"I'm Ben." He said, holding out a hand. Callum glanced down at it. Ben noticed the dirt and wiped it on his trousers.  
Callum hesitated but reconsidered.  
"Callum. Callum Highway." He said, shaking Ben's hand.  
"Welcome to the Titanic, Callum Highway." Ben grinned.  
Callum smirked.  
"I'm not a snob, you know." Callum killed the silence.

Ben turned to him, cocking his head to one side. "You're not? Could've fooled me." 

Callum sighed. "It's... the woman I'm marrying... she's funny with germs. Her Mum... she got really sick because of some rats and..." He could tell Ben wasn't interested at all. He probably just thought Callum was rude. Callum didn't say anything else on the matter.  
"So, what brings you here?" Ben asked, resting his head on the railings the same way Callum had.  
"I'm here with my fiance and her Father. We're going dress shopping for the big day in New York." His voice was... less than excited, depsite the fact he was talking about his upcoming nuptuals to the woman he loved.  
"Let me guess, is Daddy buying?" Ben quizzed.  
Callum was silent.  
Ben took that as confirmation.  
"And how about yourself?"  
"Would you believe me if I told you I won the ticket in a poker game?" Ben smirked to himself, still not quite believing it himself.  
"I'd believe anything these days." Callum said. He couldn't believe it that he, himself was on the ship.  
Ben swallowed and took a deep breath.  
"I best get back to my friend. I left him sleeping. He'll be wondering where I am." He said, getting back up to his feet and standing over Callum.  
Callum looked him up and down and nodded slowly.  
"Okay." He said.  
Ben nodded, gave a small smile and turned on his heel.  
"Ben?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Thanks. For... helping me calm down."  
Ben nodded.  
"You can always just leave her." He said.  
Callum's mouth opened to reply but Ben began to walk away and within moments, he'd gone.  
Callum stood up, brushing off his trousers and folding his collar back up to retie his bow tie and head back to the dining room.


	3. An Invitation

A new day dawned on the ship of dreams and Callum awoke to the sound of Whitney squealing with excitement from the living room section of their private quarters.  
Callum tried desperately to close his eyes again, his panic attack from the evening before had drained him and he didn't believe he had ever been this tired. He turned over to face the wall, his freckled skin glowing in the sunlight.  
The bedroom door flew open.  
"Darling! Just look at this!!!" Whitney almost shrieked.  
"Good morning to you, too." Callum sighed, attempting to put a pillow over his face to block out Whitney and the light.  
Whitney tore it out from his hand and pulled the sheets off of him.  
She knew he hated when she did that.  
Callum groaned and sat up, rubbing his head, slightly annoyed.  
"Look what Daddy got me!" Whitney exclaimed, almost throwing herself onto the bed in the space she had left beside Callum.  
In the palm of her hands was the most magnificent necklace Callum had ever seen. And Whitney owned plenty of beautiful necklaces for him to say that and mean it.  
The chain was silver and the pendant was a blue gemstone that Callum no interest in learning the name of, but he knew for certain that it was encrusted in diamonds and must be worth a fortune.  
"Is it not the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?!" She asked.  
Nathan appeared in the doorway, leaning himself against the doorframe.  
Callum remained silent, staring at the pendant as it made colours on their bedroom walls in the strong sunlight.  
"You are the most beautiful thing we have ever seen, sweetheart. This necklace is a simple gift to enhance that." Nathan said, scowling at Callum's silence.  
Whitney jumped to her feet, giddy once again.  
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She said, covering her Father's cheeks in kisses.  
Callum pulled the sheets back up to his chest, feeling exposed, in more ways than one. He loved Whitney, of course he did. He knew Nathan loved her too. He is her Father after all, and Father's should spoil their daughters but Callum couldn't help but feel stung.  
Sure, he had money. Sure, he wasn't poor in the slightest, but how could he ever match up to Nathan and how he showered Whitney with expensive presents?  
"Callum?" Whitney snapped Callum straight out of his day dream and back to the ship with a bang.  
"Yes? Sorry." He smiled.  
"Would you put this on for me?" She asked, pulling her hair over one shoulder so he could put her necklace on for her.  
"Are you sure?" He quizzed.  
Whitney frowned.  
"Only... maybe you should wait until this evening. I'm sure you have a dress that will match this perfectly. Everyone around the table will want to gaze at it, and you, all night!" Callum swallowed the lump in his throat as Nathan and Whitney stared at him.  
"He's right. Plus it will only blind the poor people in this glorious sunshine." Nathan said. Both he and Whitney both laughed. "I'll put it in the safe until this evening." He took the pendant from Whitney and headed away, leaving the couple on their own.  
"What's wrong?" Whitney asked, sitting back down on the bed beside Callum, placing her hand on his. "Are you still feeling unwell?" She asked.  
When he'd returned to the dinner table the night before, he made his excuses and went back to their suite, feeling a mixture of strange emotions and feelings and truth be told, the man he met hadn't quite left his mind for a moment since.  
"No, no. I'm okay. Just peckish." Callum smiled at his fiancee.  
"Get dressed. We'll go and eat on the terrace." Whitney patted his hand with her own and stood up.  
She really did care for him, she hated seeing him so unlike himself.  
"Okay." Callum smiled and nodded.  
As Whitney sat at the dressing table to brush her hair, Callum's eyes shifted across to the bow tie he had thrown down over to the top of the mirror when he got back and rushed to get himself into bed last night. He wondered if it had all been a dream.  
"Do you mind if I meet you in a little while?" Callum asked.  
Whitney looked at him in the mirror, slightly perplexed.  
"I thought you were hungry?" She asked.  
"I have to do something but it won't take long. We'll be married in a few months and then you'll be trying your best to get rid of me." Callum smirked at her.  
Whitney grinned at him and stood up from her velvet stool, throwing her arms around his neck.  
"I love you, Callum Highway, I never, ever want to get rid of you!" She exclaimed. Callum laughed and kissed her forehead.  
"And, I love you." He said.

Callum paced the front deck where he had met Ben the night before, hoping for a glimpse of him again. It had been almost an hour and he knew Whitney would be wondering where he was. He also knew Nathan would probably be bad mouthing him too. He pulled out his pocket watch. He began to walk when he slammed into a person.  
"Oh!" The person said.  
"You should look where you're going!" Callum said, disgusted at the arrogance.  
He brushed himself off and looked up.  
"Yeah, well maybe you should too. You're the one that walked into me." The man stood in front of him scowled, angrily.  
"Jay!" A voice in the distance called. "Jay! I think we can probably eat in the-" Callum looked up to see Ben approaching them.  
"You." Ben said, recognising Callum immediately.  
"Hello." Callum looked down at his feet, feeling awkward for some unknown reason.  
"You know this fool?" Jay asked.  
Ben looked at Callum, lost for words. "We met last night. Callum here was... looking for the first class part of the boat, he'd gotten a little lost."  
Callum couldn't understand why Ben had lied for him.  
Jay scoffed. "First class, huh? Figures." He almost spat, fire in his eyes.  
Callum looked out at sea.  
Jay began to walk away. "I'll meet you inside." Ben called after him.  
Callum walked slowly to the front of the ship, resting his hands on the metal railings and looking out at the vastness in front of him, no land could be seen for miles. Only water, water and more water. Callum hadn't realised that Ben had joined him at his side.  
"Are you... okay?" Ben asked, wondering what Callum was doing on his own on the front deck again. He really was concerned he was suicidal.  
"Why did you lie to your friend?" Callum asked, squinting at Ben in the sunlight.  
Ben pulled a face that said he wasn't sure.  
"I guess I didn't think you'd want people to know you had a panic attack." He answered with a simple shrug.  
"You don't know me." Callum's words came out nastier than he'd meant.  
Ben was taken aback.  
"I know that." He was annoyed.  
The men shared a look in silence and Ben broke it.  
"I best go and find Jay since you pissed him off too." He said.  
Callum didn't say another word.  
"Right. Yeah. See ya." Ben said, walking away.  
"I was here looking for you." Callum said.  
Ben stopped and turned back. He swore his heart skipped a beat but he was too proud to admit it.  
"What?" He asked.  
Callum turned and leant against the metal railings in the same place as they were the night before.  
"I... wondered if you'd like to join us for dinner tonight. As a thank you... for helping me for last night." Why did he feel so nervous? Almost as though he was asking the man on a date.  
Ben looked at him for a moment.  
"Dinner... with you and your fiancee? In first class?"  
"I mean... there will be other people there too."  
"Are you sure there's room for me? I can't just... barge my way in." Ben felt his cheeks redden.  
"Whitney has just had a new necklace. I'm sure she's going to be thrilled to be showing it off to an extra person." Callum said, amusing himself.  
"Okay."  
"Okay. Good. Seven. See you there." Callum ended the conversation with a quick nod.  
As he walked away from Ben, his heart rate had increased and he felt flushed. Why had the sight of this man and the confirmation that last night wasn't a dream sent him into a schoolgirl crush like daze? He wasn't sure but he knew he had to rush back and break it to the White's that they were to expect an extra guest at dinner that night.


	4. The Dinner

"So, who exactly.. is this man?" Whitney asked, moving her hair to one side so Nathan could attach the necklace around her neck.  
"He's... erm... he's just a man who helped me the other evening." Callum replied, trying not to smile at the memory.  
"Helped you how exactly?" Nathan asked.  
"He was... there when I wasn't feeling well." Callum said.  
Nathan scoffed, trying to resist making a comment.  
"And that entitles him to eat at our table?" He asked, genuine confusion etched into his wrinkled face.  
Callum sighed.  
"Oh, Father, I think it's lovely." Whitney said. Callum blinked. "Let Callum make a new friend on board!" Whitney stroked her necklace and stood tall.  
"Well? Do I look okay?" She asked.  
"Incredible." Callum pecked a kiss upon her cheek. She grinned and made her way towards the living quarters with her Father, leaving Callum alone.  
He looked at himself in the mirror and noticed his cheeks were flushed a shade of pink. He blamed the warmth of the room and not the thought of potentially seeing the man he'd befriended in a suit.  
"Are you ready?" Whitney reappeared in the doorway.  
"Yes. I'm just coming." Callum smiled. He checked his hair was in place and his bow tie was symmetrical and followed Whitney out of the door.

"Bloody hell." Jay laughed, sitting up on his bed. "Where did you find that?" He wolf whistled as Ben laughed, pushing his shoulder back.  
"Do I look like an idiot?" Ben asked his friend.  
"You look like a penguin." Jay mocked. Ben sighed. "What did you do to get an invite into first class anyway?" Jay asked, taking a large bite out of an apple that would be his dinner. Ben felt guilty.  
"I...." He looked down at his polished shoes.  
"Do I wanna know?" Jay asked, taking the dirty thought route as always.  
"No. I don't think you do." Ben thought it was better than the truth because he really didn't quite know what the truth was.  
"And where did you get the suit?" Jay quizzed.  
Ben rolled his eyes.  
"I need to go." He announced. Jay smirked. "Have fun."

"Will you stop fiddling?" Whitney scolded, privately to Callum. "What is the matter with you?" She asked with bewilderment as she watched her fiance fold out his cotton napkin and re fold it again.  
Callum opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a member of the waiter staff clearing his throat.  
"This gentleman says he is dining with a... Callum Highway this evening?" He said.  
Callum looked over the man's shoulder to see Ben looking down at his feet, awkward but handsome.  
"Yes, that is correct." Callum confirmed.  
The man nodded and held out an arm to tell Ben to sit. He sat opposite Callum and beside a rather small woman who smelt of candied toffee and spearmint on his left and Nathan on his right.  
"Everyone, this is Ben." Callum said. Everyone murmured their hello's.  
"Hello there, my boy." Nathan held out a large hand for Ben to shake. Callum noticed the grime had gone and Ben had even cut his fingernails down.  
"My name is Nathan Dean and this here is my daughter Whitney." He gestured across the table.  
"You can call me Whitney... you can call me Whit... you can call me whatever you'd like." She smiled, sweetly.  
"Hello, Whitney." Ben nodded.  
Callum couldn't take his eyes off of Ben. He wondered where he'd gotten his suit from.  
"Starters should be arriving soon. Would you like a drink?" Someone else asked, welcoming the stranger kindly.  
Whitney cocked her head to the side and whispered across to Callum. "You can tell he's poor. That suit jacket is far too big for him." Callum pretended to laugh with her but watched as Ben chose from the bottles of wine in front of him.  
The conversation flowed all evening but Ben stayed quiet for most of it. "Are you alright?" Callum asked across the table as Whitney showed off her pendant to yet another jealous lady from another table.  
Ben nodded his response and sipped his red wine, disgusted by the taste. Callum sipped his too, watching Ben fake smiles and laughter. Even he could see that Ben was desperately wanting to be anywhere but there.  
The evening went on and their final course had been finished for a while when Nathan turned to face Ben with his entire body.  
"So, tell me, just how did you get a ticket onto this ship?" He asked, a glass of the finest champagne in his one hand, a lit cigar in the other.  
Callum's head jerked towards him, mortified at his blunt and rude question.  
Ben didn't seem phased at all.  
"I won it, Sir. In a card game." The members of the table all laughed but Ben's face didn't change.  
"What? You're serious?" Whitney asked.  
Ben nodded, draining the last of his wine into his mouth and placing the crystal cut glass down onto the table.  
"Don't act so surprised, Whitney, dear. I won my current automobile in a card game. We'll have to play sometime. See what else you can try and win." Nathan laughed and patted the man on the shoulder.  
Callum's heart was thudding. Why did he care about how his family felt about Ben and whether they accepted him or not.  
"Yeah... absolutely." Ben nodded and smiled and acted up in front of the man but he knew he wouldn't be invited back here again. Nathan was simply giving the other members of the table a show.  
"On that note... I must go." Ben placed his napkin onto the table and pushed his chair out.  
Callum felt the oxygen leave his lungs.  
"Goodnight, my boy." Nathan said and turned away instantly, done with the conversation and back to discussing cars with the man beside him.  
Callum stood.  
"Must you go?" He whispered.  
Benn was taken aback.  
"I..." He was cut off by Whitney.  
"Thank you ever so much for coming to dinner with us tonight. I do hope the first class lifestyle was all you had expected it to be."  
Callum knew she hadn't meant to be rude but his eyes still screwed up with embarrassment.  
Ben laughed and nodded. "Thank you for letting me join you. Goodnight everyone." He said.

He began to leave, removing his bow tie as he left, walking quickly away.  
"Hey... wait." He heard.  
He turned to see Callum running towards him.  
"Thank you for... coming along." He said. Ben nodded. "I'm sorry it wasn't your scene. I just wanted to thank you for your kindness the other evening."  
Ben silenced a laugh and turned to look out at the black night over the soft, warm lighting of the deck.  
"No problem." He said.  
An awkward silence filled the air and the two men looked at each other. Both of them would never admit it but they swore they felt something between them.  
"Hey, do you want to go to a real party?" Ben asked, suddenly, surprising himself even.  
Callum smirked and nodded, following Ben down flights of stairs.  
"Where are we going?" He asked, feeling slightly giddy.  
Ben laughed and opened a door, the sounds of Irish music filled their ears and laughter echoed through the room.  
Men and women danced around and children banged their knees and clapped their hands along to the beat.  
"Welcome to Lower Deck." Ben grinned.  
"Ben!! You made it!" A young girl ran at them and threw her arms around Ben's waist.  
"Alexa! My number one girl!" He ruffled her hair and looked at her as she stared up at the taller man, her eyes wide. She'd never been in the presence of someone rich before.  
"Alexa, this is Callum." Ben said, crouching down to her level and looking up at Callum.  
Callum's stomach lurched and fluttered as the blue eyes stared up into his.  
"Hi Callum." She smiled. Callum looked at her and held out a hand, only to have the girl throw her arms around him too and for once, Callum's first thought wasn't to be disgusted. He was so far away from thoughts of Whitney right now that he almost forgot they were on the same ship. Alexa ran away, back to her Father and Ben made his way across to the bar.  
It was now Callum's turn to feel out of place.  
The music and dancing continued and Ben shouted his order across at the man serving drinks.  
Callum watched beside him as the poor people danced and sang to the music. He felt warm and fuzzy and a smile even made it's way across his lips.  
Ben threw off his suit jacket and thrust a pint of ale into Callum's hand.  
"Cheers!" He said, clinking his glass against it and taking a long gulp.  
Callum looked at him and at the beer and copied him, the sweet taste of the warm beer fizzing inside his mouth and down his throat.  
He shuddered and Ben laughed.  
"First time?" He asked.  
Callum nodded and felt light headed. Surely he wasn't drunk already? Ben sat them down on top of beer crates and Callum removed his own jacket, feeling as though he was sticking out like a sore thumb.  
A woman approached and took Ben's hand, rushing him to the area that had been made into the dance floor and they begin spinning each other around and laughing. Callum began to laugh, clapping his hands and tapping his feet to the music.  
He couldn't get his head around how much this was like another world. He was only a few floors away from his wife to be and yet he felt like he was in another land completely.  
The music stopped and the band took swigs from their beer glasses and Callum's heart dropped as he thought that the music was over. He was wrong. Within seconds, they began to play again and Callum grinned.  
Alexa made her way through the crowds and held out a hand to him. Callum looked at her. "Come on!" She instructed and for some reason, Callum listened to her, taking her hand and letting her guide him through the sea of people to the middle, where Ben was.  
Ben looked surprised and Callum shrugged, pointing the blame at Alexa. They began an Irish jig around the dance floor and Callum picked Alexa up to dance with her on his hip. Alexa laughed and Ben felt his heart lurch as he watched them. What was this feeling? Ben frowned at himself and returned to their makeshift seats. Callum looked over and Ben grinned, taking another drink of beer.  
The music finished and Alexa curtsied to Callum and ran away again, leaving him alone on the dance floor. He laughed and headed back to Ben, taking the smaller man's beer glass from his hand and taking a swig from it too, the sweat standing on his brow but not once did he break eye contact with the man. He finished the drink and watched as Ben's smirk grew.  
"What? You think a first class guy can't drink?" He asked. They both laughed and stared at each other, their eyes drinking each other in.  
The music began for a final time and someone grabbed Ben's hand. It was a group dance. He looked at Callum and down at his rolled up sleeves and grabbed his hand too. Callum's fingers were electric with the touch. He felt as though he could ignite fires and sparks. They danced around in a circle and Callum's hair was flat against his head from where he had sweat. Callum got a glimpse of a clock. It was almost midnight.  
"I need to go." He announced. He hadn't realised the time, Whitney would be wondering where on earth he had gotten to.  
Ben laughed loudly, not hearing him.  
"Ben!" He shouted over the music. They broke free from the circle and moved to the side.  
"I need to go." He repeated. Ben felt deflated.  
"Okay. Sure." They both realised they were still holding hands. They let go and stood opposite each other, not sure of what to do next.  
Callum retrieved his suit jacket and put it back on, almost like he was returning himself to his rich, posh persona.  
"Goodnight, Ben." Callum said, smiling.  
Ben nodded. "Goodnight, Highway." He smiled back, watching as the man pushed his way through the crowd until he could no longer be seen.


	5. A Secret Meeting

"Good morning. It's lovely of you to join us." Nathan said, flicking the ash of his cigar into the metal ashtray that sat between the pastries and fruit on the breakfast table.  
Callum kissed Whitney's cheek and sat himself down beside her, remaining silent.  
"Would you like anything to eat, Sir?" A female waiting staff member asked, standing at Callum's side with her hands clasped together in front of her.  
"No, thank you. But a large coffee would be brilliant." He smiled. She nodded and disappeared before returning moments later with a carafe of coffee, pouring it carefully into the cup she had upturned for him.  
Whitney sipped her orange juice and turned her body to stare out at the vast nothingness in front of her.  
"It's a lovely day." She announced. The sun was shining, so that was clearly her way of making the awkward silence a little less painful.  
Callum stirred the black coffee, watching intently as the sugar cube began to dissolve.  
"And, where did you get to last night?" Nathan asked the question he had been dying to know the answer to.  
"What?" Callum asked, attempting rather terribly to avoid answering the question.  
"Last night. Whitney says you didn't come back here until a long time after us." Nathan's brow was pushing his eyebrows down towards his eyes, the white hair almost covering his eyes. He took a drag from his cigar and blew the smoke towards Callum.  
"I... I went for a walk." He lied. "I was feeling sea sick again and decided to get fresh air. I didn't want to burden Whitney with looking after me." He said.  
Whitney placed her hand onto his, her engagement ring sparkling in the sunlight.  
"But you know I'd have helped you. In sickness and in health, remember?" She smiled.  
"You're not married yet." Nathan's frown hadn't moved.  
Callum's heart sped as he wondered if someone had seen him with Ben the night before.  
"Are you feeling better this morning?" Whitney asked, putting the back of her hand against his brow to check for a fever.  
"Yes. I'm fine. Still a little queasy.. but fine." He smiled.  
Whitney nodded. "You are a little warm." She noted.  
Truth be told, Callum wasn't completely lying. He did feel terrible but that was mostly due to what he believed to be a beer hangover.  
"And, Ben...." Nathan began.  
Callum knew it. He knew he'd been followed.  
"Did he enjoy himself?" Nathan quizzed.  
Callum exhaled, picking up his coffee cup, lacing his fingers through the handle like how his fingers had laced Ben's the evening before.  
"I'd assume so. He ate and he drank. The boy looked like he needed a good meal." Whitney commented with an arrogant hair flick.  
Without even trying to, she couldn't help but sound bitchy. It was a talent.  
"I think he had a great time. I said goodbye to him at the clock and headed off on my walk." Callum shrugged, trying to act as nonchalant as possible.  
Nathan nodded but his eyes didn't leave Callum. He wondered if he was trying to scare him into admitting something or if he actually knew the truth.  
"Get ready. We're going for a walk." Nathan instructed, standing himself from the table.  
Whitney groaned.  
"Must we come?" She asked. Nathan frowned.  
"Yes." He replied, walking away without another word.  
"Whit, do you mind if I stay here?" Callum asked, taking her hand in his. "Only... I'm not feeling good and if I am sick all over the top deck, your Father will be less than impressed with me." He said.  
Whitney sighed and looked at him. She took his face in her hands. "The things I do for you, Callum Highway." She said, cocking her own head to one side.  
Callum knew she loved him. And he loved her too. He just... wasn't sure he was in love with her.  
"I love you." He smiled.  
"I should think so." His fiancee smiled and he kissed her on the forehead.  
Callum watched as Whitney walked away to get herself ready and began to think of a plan to find Ben.

Ben stacked the crates of empty beer glasses and smiled at Sven, the Swedish man that manned the bar.  
"Anything else I can help with?" He asked.  
Sven looked around the room, placing his hands on his hips.  
"I don't think so, Ben. Thank you." He nodded, offering his hand for a handshake.  
Ben patted his shoulder and rewarded himself with a beer from the tap. Sven didn't seem to mind. After all, he wasn't paying Ben for the assistance.  
"Hey!" Ben said, wiping the beer foam moustache from his top lip as Alexa ran towards him with a huge grin on her face.  
"Callum is looking for you!" She announced, slightly out of breath. Ben looked down and noticed a chocolate coin in her left palm. He smirked to himself.  
"Is he?" He asked. He tried to ignore the signal his heart had sent, thudding it's way through his chest.  
"Mhmm! He said to meet him... erm..." She looked up and tried to remember the details correctly. "...to meet him... by the.... lifeboats. I think." She said. She gazed down at her chocolate coin, the payment for her errand. Ben chuckled at her, amused by how children could be won over so easily by something sweet.  
"Thank you, Alexa. I will go and try and find him." Ben ruffled her hair.

"I hear you're looking for me?" Callum turned to see Ben walking towards him.  
Callum nodded and beckoned Ben towards him.  
"What are you doing?" Ben asked as Callum ushered him into an empty room that held the remaining life boats that weren't out on the deck.  
"We can't be seen." Callum whispered.  
"Why are you whispering?" Ben asked, amused.  
"I'm supposed to be ill." Callum replied.  
Aaron did a joking look over each shoulder.  
"It's just in here. Us and some lifeboats." He said, sarcasm swimming through each word.  
Callum looked at him with a look that told him to be quiet.  
"I've told Nathan and Whitney that I'm not well. They think I'm in bed." He said.  
Ben rolled his eyes.  
"Why lie to them? Is it so terrible to be seen with me?" He asked.  
Callum frowned and shook his head.  
"No, of course not, I-"  
"Is it because I'm not first class? Would they mind so much if I walked around in fancy suits and shiny shoes every day? Waving a gloved hand at the peasants below us and puffing away on an expensive cigar?" Ben's voice was getting louder and his face was turning more red by the second.  
"I didn't say that, I-"  
"Just say it! You're ashamed to be seen with me! That's why you've dragged me in here!" Ben's arms flew outward with exasperation.  
Callum lurched forwards and put both of his hands on Ben's biceps, trying to calm him down.  
"That's not true! I-"  
Callum was stopped this time by no words but by Ben's lips on his.  
They kissed and as cliche as it sounded, Callum could've sworn he heard fireworks and trumpets and angels singing.  
They pulled apart and stared at each other, breathless.  
"I'm... engaged." Callum whispered.  
Ben swallowed and licked his lips, looking down at the floor.  
"I'm not rich, Callum. I have a few coins in my pocket and I have absolutely nothing to offer you. I don't have a fancy car, I don't have a gigantic house in the countryside, but... I can't stop thinking about last night." Ben had only given one speech like this in his life. To his Mother, to persuade her to let him leave home and try and get on the Titanic.  
Callum looked at Ben, silently. "So... if you're okay with that... then so am I. Last night was the happiest I've been in a long time and I know you felt it to. I haven't stopped thinking about how we danced and how much I wanted to kiss you and feeling quite silly really because you probably don't even feel the same way about me but I...." Ben's voice faded and he looked at Callum.  
"I'm engaged." Callum's voice was stronger now. It didn't crumble like it did the first time he'd said those words. Almost like something in him snapped back into place after a moment of madness.  
"I heard you the first time but do you hear it yourself? Are you happy, Callum? Because if you are, then go. Go back to your fiance and forget I ever existed."  
Callum realised his hands were still on Ben's arms. He dropped them to his sides.  
"You're trapped, Callum. You have no life, you have no future. They control your every move, your every decision, your every thought. I saw that last night and I was with you for a couple of hours. And Whitney, she's really something, but do you love her?" Ben's head tilted to one side and Callum noticed the vulnerability in the man's eyes.  
"Do you love her, Callum?" He repeated, softer this time.  
Callum swallowed and shook away his trembling bottom lip.  
"Yes." He stared down at his feet. "I love her." He looked up at Ben, finally.  
Ben nodded slowly, laughing quietly and wiping his mouth.  
"Okay." He said. He scratched his forehead, opening his mouth to say something else but decided against it. Without taking one more look at Callum, he opened the door and left. Callum slid down the wall and put his head against it, realising he'd probably just made the biggest mistake of his life.


	6. The Realisation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, small scene of homophobia in this chapter. Nothing too much, just harsh words.

Callum stared into space as Whitney and Nathan had another one of their discussions about the upcoming wedding. He knew he should probably be involved in the conversation, given that it was going to be him stood at the altar in a matter of weeks.  
Instead, his mind swam with thoughts of Ben and the heated moment they’d shared only a few hours ago. He couldn’t help but worry that it was over between them, whatever ‘it’ was, if it was even anything at all. He’d only known the man for a few days and yet his heart raced with every thought of him.  
“And so that is why I think the salmon over peach. Wouldn’t you agree, sweetie?” Whitney said, turning her attention to Callum.  
Callum snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Whitney who was staring at him, expecting an answer.  
Nathan looked less than pleased.  
“It’s your big day, you decide!” Callum smiled, placing his hand onto hers.  
“No, it’s our big day. We’re sharing it. Side by side.” Whitney said, a small frown etched into her forehead and Callum knew she was thinking that he didn’t want any of this.  
She was right.  
“Show me.” Callum soothed, smiling at her and looked down at the material samples that were practically covering the table.  
Nathan could see through Callum’s interest.  
“Is there something else you’d rather be doing?” He asked, flicking the ash from his cigar into the crystal ashtray on the table.  
“Please, Father. Do you have to smoke around my wedding samples?” Whitney groaned, collecting them up and clutching them to her chest.  
Nathan didn’t say another word, his eyes burned holes into Callum’s face.  
“Of course not!” Callum said, hoping his words didn’t come out as high pitched as they’d felt like to him.  
Whitney forced her Father to stub out his cigar and began talking to him again about the cost of flowers and what options they had to choose from.

Callum turned to his left, hearing the raised voice of a man. It was two fellow passengers, in the middle of a heated exchange.  
“You will NOT see him again, do you hear me, boy?!” The man spat the words at a boy at the table opposite him.  
The teenager nodded, fear in his eyes.  
“He is a KITCHEN HELP! And you will NOT be homosexual. Not while I still walk this EARTH! I cannot believe what I walked in on. I am disgusted by you. You are no son of mine.”  
The boy’s face was wet with tears.  
Callum was taken back to his own childhood. His own Father. His own sexuality. He watched as the man grabbed the boy by the wrist and dragged him away from the dining room.  
Callum felt sick.  
“May I be excused?” He asked, smiling at Whitney for permission.  
“Yes, but don’t be long. Dinner will be here soon.” Nathan was firm. He was not to miss dinner this evening. All of the wedding plans were to be broadcast around the table. Another excuse to show off.  
Callum nodded and kissed Whitney on the cheek, her lips almost foreign to him now. Since Ben had kissed him.  
He pushed the doors open with his palms and felt the sea air hit his face. His head was buzzing with thoughts of what he’d just witnessed. Who he was. How he’d never accepted it.  
He went to the top deck, for some reason hoping and praying he’d find Ben but almost believing that he wouldn’t.  
He headed to the place they first met. The front of the ship.  
And there he was. His coat blowing in the wind and his hands holding tightly onto the metal railings.  
“I could think of easier ways to kill yourself.” Callum echoed the first words Ben ever said to him.  
Ben didn’t even turn around.  
Callum sighed and stepped closer to him, hoping he hadn’t lost his mind and that it was in fact Ben and not someone else.  
He placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder.  
Ben turned, almost flinching.  
“Ben.” Callum whispered. He forced Ben to look at him. “Are you crying?” He asked.  
Ben shook his head, furiously and wiped his face with the sleeves of his jumper. “I’m stood at the front of a huge boat. The wind is in my face.” He said, turning away.  
“It’s a ship.” Callum corrected him.  
“What?” Ben asked, his face screwing up into a frown.  
“It’s a ship. Not a boat.” Callum shrugged.  
“Shut up.” Ben sighed.  
Callum licked his lips and stared at his feet.  
“What are you even doing here?” Ben asked, turning his back to the ocean.  
“I… changed my mind.” Callum said, simple and to the point.  
“What?” Ben asked, again.  
Callum said nothing, taking Ben’s hand into both of his own and holding it to his chest, similar to the way Whitney had done with her wedding samples.  
Ben’s frown had yet to leave his face.  
“I have decided not to run from who I am. Not to hide who I am." Callum said, softly. Ben could just about hear him over the sound of the huge vessel striding through the waves below.  
“And, Ben, I like you.”  
Ben’s frown melted away.  
They stepped closer together and Callum dropped Ben’s hand, anticipating another kiss. But he knew he could possibly be seen so, instead, he turned to the sunset, placing both of his hands on the metal railings.  
This had quickly become their spot.  
Ben was at his side, his hand touching Callum’s at the side.  
“I’m sorry.” Ben’s voice cracked as he spoke.  
“What for?” Callum was confused, wondering what Ben could possibly ever be apologising for.  
“For… making it hard for you.”  
Callum let out a small laugh.  
“It wasn’t you making it hard for me. It was all me. I’ve always know who I am, I was just scared to accept it.” He said. “When I was around fifteen, my Father caught me and my best friend together in my room when we should've been at school. He… kicked him out of the house and beat me up, telling me it was for not bring serious about my education but I knew the truth. He couldn’t look at me for weeks.” Callum’s bottom lip shook.  
Ben was shocked.  
“He left a few years ago and we never discussed it. I know he was disgusted by me. By the thought of me being gay.” Callum was trying his hardest not to cry in front of Ben.  
“I’ve never told anyone this. Not even my brother. Or my Mother.” Callum looked at Ben in the eye, asking him, silently, not to tell anyone. "It was mine and my Father's secret."  
Ben nodded. “I won’t tell a soul.” He said, reading Callum's mind.  
“I buried who I really was. I spent so long trying to be the person he wanted me to be. Marry the woman he wanted me to marry.” Callum laughed at the thought, the silliness of it all.  
Ben placed his hand on top of Callum’s. “At least you’ve accepted yourself now.”  
Callum nodded.  
“I need to go.” He said, regretfully. “I promised Nathan I’d be at dinner tonight.” He felt ashamed to even say those words.  
Ben nodded slowly, taking his hand away.  
“Meet me. Tonight. Midnight. At the clock.” Callum asked, eager, his hand grabbing for the hand Ben had moved away just seconds before.  
Ben found himself agreeing and he couldn’t stop himself from doing so.  
“I’ll see you later.” Callum said, looking at his pocket watch and rushing back to his other life.


	7. The Maid

Ben stood at the front of the ship, the wind in his face, the sun on his skin and the fresh smell of the waves beneath him filling his nostrils. 

He was warm. 

He was happy. 

“You okay, mate?” A voice behind him asked. Ben turned. It was Jay. 

“Yeah, I’m good. Are you?” Ben replied. 

Jay nodded, rocking back and forth on his heels and looking down at the floor. Ben frowned. 

“What is it?” He asked. 

“Just miss ya.” Jay said with a small shrug, almost embarrassed at his admission. 

Ben was touched by the sweet gesture. 

“I’m still here, you silly sausage.” 

“Don’t mention sausages. I’m starving.” Jay groaned. The food really wasn’t great in the lower decks. It was BAD... but it wasn’t first class standard.   
Jay rubbed his stomach as it grumbled. 

“I just haven’t seen a lot of you in the past few days. I feel like you’re avoiding me.” 

“I’m not.” Ben tried to reassure his best friend. But how could he tell him that he was having.... relations... if he could even call it that... with someone who was not only in first class but also in a relationship with a woman. 

Jay nodded but his eyes didn’t leave the ground. “Tonight. We’ll do something tonight. Promise.” Ben urged, patting Jay on the shoulder. 

“Okay. Tonight.” Jay agreed. 

“I’m gonna go and find some food for us. I’ll see you in a bit.” Ben said, heading off towards the kitchen. 

Callum stretched, placing the newspaper he was just reading down on the coffee table in front of him. He’d nodded off whilst reading. Thankfully neither Nathan or Whitney has caught him.   
“Ah, you’re awake, sir. I didn’t want to wake you. Would you care for a beverage of some kind?” One of the older maids smiled sweetly at him, her hands placed together behind her back as she bent slightly towards him.   
Callum shook his head, thankful for her kindness. “No thank you, Marie.”   
Marie’s eyebrows raised slightly. The young man had taken the time to learn her name. Not just clicked his fingers at her or shouted “Maid!” Until she appeared. That meant a lot to her. None of the others had bothered. Had made an effort. 

“Thank you, sir.” Marie smiled. 

“Please, call me Callum.” Callum urged with kindness. 

“That won’t be necessary.” The voice of Nathan came from no where, stern and cold. 

Callum smiled an apology at Marie before she left the room.   
“She’s the help, Callum. Not a friend.” Nathan almost spat. 

Callum sighed. 

“Right, yeah.” He nodded, now wasn’t the time for an argument. 

“Perhaps you’re mistaking her for a Mother figure. Since your own Mother...” Nathan’s voice cruelly cut off before he finished. 

Callum’s Mother had left him when he was younger. To fend for himself with the help of his older brother, Stuart. Who... really wasn’t much help anyway. 

“I’m going out. Tell Whitney I’ll be back later.” Nathan said, turning on his heel. 

Callum was upset. He was mad. He was angry. 

Nathan didn’t like him, he knew that, and no one was ever going to be good enough for his daughter, but Callum tried yet Nathan still treated him like something he’d stepped in. 

Callum stood, heading towards the desk in the corner of the room. He wrote out a note for Whitney using the parchment and quill. 

Whitney,  
I’m heading out, I’ll be back for dinner.   
Love you,  
Callum. 

Ben and Jay laughed together, reminiscing about something they’d experienced back home. Jay took a segment from the orange they were sharing, passing it back to Ben.   
A knock came at the door. Jay stood to open it, finding Alexa waiting there, smiling. 

“Hi, Jay. Is Ben here?” She asked. Jay nodded, moving to the side and opening the door wider. Alexa stood to the side too, revealing Callum. 

“Callum.” Ben said, jumping to his feet, the orange peel falling to the floor from his lap. Jay frowned, remembering the small argument he had with this man. 

“You two know each other?” He asked. 

Callum and Ben looked at each other as Alexa skipped off back down the corridor, her task of finding Ben for Callum, again, complete.


End file.
